You read that right. Your trials can be a catalyst to get you to the life you want if you learn how to use them in your favor. When you learn that trials are meant for growth and not as punishment, you begin to understand how to endure them better. We’re here to learn from our trials and life experiences. Learning to trust God through our trials (and when they’re over and we’re left picking up the pieces) is so important for improving our relationship with Him and growing in this life.

I’ll give you a personal example. I was pregnant when I went through my divorce. I was beyond stressed out and started having panic attacks. I honestly didn’t know why I was led to get married and have a baby just to get divorced right away. Honestly it was an incredibly huge trial for me. But throughout that difficult time, I had so many blessings and also felt so comforted the entire time. My support system grew tremendously and I didn’t feel as alone as I should have.

Now when I look back on the whole experience, I can make sense of it all. I see just how much I was carried and loved. I understand the lessons I needed to learn that I wouldn’t have figured out any other way.

I’m not saying it’s easy to go through trials. What I am saying is that a shift in perspective makes all the difference!

1. Your Trials Are Meant to Help You Grow

I’m a firm believer that trials are not meant to be punishment. Rather, they’re given to us as a means to learn lessons we wouldn’t be open to learning otherwise.

Think about a major trial you’ve gone through. If you can see it as a learning opportunity, you can find something positive that came from that trial (even though none of us enjoy going through trials).

For me, my divorces were major sources of heartache. They brought up a lot of uncomfortable feelings and made me admit the ways I hadn’t been upholding my boundaries. I had done a lot of personal healing and tried to learn about myself after my first divorce. But I still had a lot of lessons to learn. I needed to get to know myself better and figure out my divine worth.

I thought that self-sacrificing and always putting the other person first was Christlike. As it turns out, this was actually leading to me sabotaging my relationships in a major way. I wasn’t treating myself with respect or ensuring that I was taken care of (which is MY responsibility). And I wasn’t showing up as my authentic self or showing myself the love I should have been given.

Now I know that I can balance meeting my own needs and loving another person. This is SO important!

2. Trials Are Not Meant to Hold You Back

Have you ever grown from a period in life where things felt easy and life was stagnant? Probably not. Although we need periods of rest where things are coming together rather than falling apart in life, we learn the most from the times we’re pushed past our current understanding (and current capacity so we can grow into a new version of ourselves).

Why do we put so much stress on ourselves to be perfect? We’re not meant to be literally perfect in life. We’re meant to grow, to make progress. We CAN’T be perfect, but we CAN learn and grow every day in this life. Reaching our full potential starts with learning and growing. God doesn’t expect perfection, because He knows we can’t achieve that in this life. What He does want is for us to apply ourselves, trust in Him, and TRY.

3. You Get the Same Type of Trial Until You Learn the Lesson

I want you to think about a trial you’ve experienced more than once. You’ve undoubtedly experienced the same type of trial more than once before… and witnessed other people who seem to ‘attract’ the same type of trial also.

Why is that? Well, think of it this way. If we’re meant to learn something from our trials and we keep getting the same trials over and over again, MAYBE we aren’t figuring out the lesson those trials are trying to teach us.

Only you know what you’re supposed to learn from your trials. They’re unique to you and meant for your growth.

I know, that isn’t what you wanted to hear. It stung for me when I made this realization too. BUT it helps when I feel like I’m stuck in a pattern of something I don’t want. I can take a step back and see what I’m meant to learn from that trial. Only then can I break out of that cycle. I can grow into a new version of myself who understands that lesson.

It’s not fun to see the places you’re holding yourself back in life or causing your own problems, but once you do you’ll be that much better off.

4. Most Trials Aren’t Permanent, but Their Lessons Are

When you’re going through a trial, it can feel like it might last forever. Some seasons in life are longer than others, but they are always just that–seasons. There’s a lot you can do to shift your focus during a difficult time. Here are some things that have helped me during my trials:

I write down what I am in control of and what is out of my control.
This helps me focus on what I can control instead of stressing about things I can’t do anything about.
I make time for self care.
For me, that looks like exercising before my kids wake up, spending time reading or listening to a book, and writing every day. Body work, massages, and spa days are also ways I like to focus on myself.
I slow down and show gratitude for everything that is going right in my life.
Sometimes it feels like everything is going wrong. It’s crucial during these times to look for something that is going well and to be grateful for that thing.

We know that life is Eternal and there is far more to our existence than we can comprehend, which is another good reminder when trials seem to drag on. It’s easy to only see our current season, but there is ALWAYS more happiness and peace to come.

5. You Should Be Reflecting on Past Trials

There is always a lesson to learn from our trials. And just like you can’t teach a toddler how to improve their behavior mid-meltdown, it’s difficult for us to determine the lesson we’re meant to be learning when we’re in the midst of our current trial.

The past few years, I’ve started to reflect on my past trials to really understand how my perspective shifted after the personal development work I’ve done. I can see God’s hand in everything that I’ve been through and that things always end up being okay in the end.

If I’m perfectly honest, I didn’t think my happiest days were ahead of me when I went through an especially rough time a few years ago. It felt like everything was imploding and I didn’t see a way through any of the things I was going through. But… here I am! I’m stronger because I’ve learned to look at my trials through a new perspective.

I know the same can be true for you!

As a bonus, when you focus on what you’re grateful for instead of all the ways things are going wrong, what you’re grateful for starts to stick out above all the noise. And you begin to attract more things to be grateful for.

We always have the choice to remain unhappy about our situation. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather consciously start giving myself more reasons to be happy instead.

I dare you to start focusing on what you’re grateful for and watch your life unfold in every beautiful way.

You deserve it!