The term “solo parent” is very isolating. It’s no wonder you’re feeling burnt out if you’re trying to do it all alone! We all know we weren’t designed to raise humans all alone. That thought would exhaust anyone. But somewhere along the way, we believe that just because we don’t have the support of a spouse anymore, we’re destined to figure it all out by ourselves. This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately and I have a mentality shift for those of us who feel like we carry the weight of everything alone.

I want to make one thing clear before we go any further–not having a spouse does not equate to not having support. Of course spousal support is ideal, but sometimes our entire journey doesn’t include that kind of support. There are so many other forms of support we can enjoy as parents. I think we miss a lot of them because we’re focused on not having a spouse, the day-to-day of being a parent, or don’t want to be a burden.

The best thing we can do is to leave more in God’s hands. Recently I had to learn to let God handle more of a situation with one of my kids. I can’t even explain how difficult it was for me to let go of things that I thought couldn’t possibly work out unless I had a firm grip on them. I bawled and fought against letting go of control. But I also took a step back. I remembered that God had been right by my side through the situation thus far and things have worked out better than I could have planned them. When I was able to shift and think about it this way, I was able to take some of the burden off of myself and hand it over to God. The situation is still not easy, but it is a lot easier knowing I’m not handling it all on my own. I have had support up until this point and have faith that I will continue to get the support I need to make it through. God is there for us as a constant support. Whether we utilize him in this way is up to us, but He is always there.

Find a support system. I know I talk about this all the time. But that’s only because it’s really important. 😉 You deserve to feel supported and your kids deserve to have a parent who gets their needs met as well. You’ll be able to show up better for everyone when you take care of you.
This support system can really look however you want it to. If you have family or close friends nearby, ask them for help from time to time. Trade kid time with a friend so you both get some time off. Hire a babysitter so you can go out with friends or get some alone time. If you can swing it, hire help with chores around the house or with the kids a few hours a week. You get the idea! There are so many ways you can utilize the help of those around you.

Whatever your situation looks like right now, you need and deserve breaks. No one is meant to handle raising a family all alone. And you won’t be able to show up as your best self for anyone if you feel like all you do is give to everyone around you with no support in return. You’re doing an amazing job! And your amazingness isn’t diminished if you have support!